We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
