Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
