I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
