There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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