im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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