We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
