me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
