North Korea, Best Korea!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
