just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
