Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
