If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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