yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She told me I should be a condom model.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
