If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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