do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
