People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
