Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
