pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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