i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
