ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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