I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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