I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
