I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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