I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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