She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
