Where did you get a picture of my penis
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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