my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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