I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just had sex bonerless
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
