like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
