theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
