wat bout pragnant strippers??
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
