i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
