I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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