Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she woke up with a sticky ear
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
