My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
