She said her name was "party"
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
