so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
