Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I pour the whiskey from now on
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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