i think my mom watched the whole time
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
is wine microwaveable?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am naked and annoyed.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
