Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
