$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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