we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
