Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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