i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Randomize
