omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
