my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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