ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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