awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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