Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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