Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
