i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
