you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
