I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
