Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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