but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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